Tuesday, March 11, 2003
in the land of Escondido, where all is never quite right, lives a giant of a man by the name of Uncle Bob. he is a quiet man of 35. if you want a back story you'll just have to read the next journal from acidwaste. so one day Uncle Bob, an only child, walked through the town square with his prize fighting robot-monkey on it's hover board, Squiggles. Uncle Bob was struttin' his stuff, for Squiggles had just won the first prize. he was happy. his smile, large and peculiar, glistened in the sun like a fat man's pasty, oily belly at the beach. he greeted everyone he saw.
"Mornin' Miss Pusset" (pronounced PUS-EH, it's French)
"What do you want you damn old fart? Go away you horny perverted man beast!!!"
Now this angered Uncle Bob. she is totally wrong in her set of mind and is ill-informed for such a naive female as her self. so he glared at her and uttered, " Bitch be TRIPPIN'!!! DON'T GIVE ME YO SASS HONKEY!!!"
and it was done.N
Monday, March 10, 2003
And on the top of the highest .....umm......thing that is high the lord put a delicious golden crust, scrumptious filling and put it into the firey pits pf hell for 30-40 minutes but on a cookie sheet as to not burn the bottom. And when his divine creation was finished he had
Tuesday, March 4, 2003
4:57PM - And the prophet spaked...
it was said that in a time of great drunken-ness there would be a female impregnated, and her name would be "Candy the Dwarven Prostitute." And she would give birth to the 2nd of most holy's we call him "OH JESUS CHRIST!" It happened somewhere in Toronto, or was it Bethlehem, Pennsylvania? We can't quite remember.
This seed coming from the lord, will be born and visited by 3 Bums. Each bestowing upon him a gift. The 1st bum will give him the gift of badly made crack cocaine. The 2nd Bum will give him the gift, of a cheap bottle of 3/4 drunken booze, it would have been full, but the bum had a habit to support. The 3rd bum will bestow upon this boy king the gift of his very own soiled underpants.
And it was done.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
it all started on a cold and wintry day... in july... the year had a book written about it... what else could you ask for than a book about your birth year than killer government conspiracies? so yeah, in His youth... He was an Asshole... but in his latter years... He became a NiceGuy... SmartAss... but NiceGuy. His word is put out through his disciples, acolytes, and prophets... simply stated: "werd", *gun firing motion* "clck clck", and the infamous "yo". spreading His word isn't really all that challenging... nor is it life threatening... really, all you have to do is some random / sensless / useless bit o' crap and you'll be accepted really... and not be a stingy asshole with your ciggarettes. but other than that it's a pretty sweet deal. so, until you meet one of His... beware... you could be their next target of random screaming.